some women cant drive

tools and what they are intended to be used for

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to let loose with your favorate cuss word.

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the  bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for

opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

S-O-B TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a @#$%*' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.


PALM SANDER: a device deviously created to numb your hands compleetly so that even MORE harm will befall you with the next tool.  if not used for this purpose it will (as it's name emplies) remove all skin from your palm.


C-CLAMP:  a device used comonly for crushing whatever you were trying to hold still


SAFTY GLASSES: an extreemly complicated device disingned to hide from you whenever they sence that any phisical harm is about to befall you


EAR PLUGS: devices disigned to fall out, roll under tables, and then teleport to under another table on the other side of your shop.


STUD FINDER: a device intended to lie to you about where the studs are in a wall, forcing you to use a hamer to smash holes in the wall (none of them finding a stud of cource!)


NAIL GUN: designed so that it's safty will malfunction the EXACT second that you bump the triger and it is aligned at the new windsheild you spent all last week instaling


Hope you found this informative.   

church

   My family (me included) have not gone to church for a while.  the reason is that my dad says he feels disconnected.  he says that we don't exist as soon as we walk out the door.  I agree with him except for one thing.  I don't exist in OR out the door, I feel like the congregation (save a few) are looking down their noses at me (which i don't understand because I'm 6' 2") and the children's classes feel too easy. as well as every five minuets the teacher has to yell: X, (as opposed to a name) get your feet off the table, X, stop chewing off your toenails and spitting them on your brother.  X, stop making un-cooth comment about your sister.  and so on and so forth.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

   HAPPY NEW YEAR!  of coarse according to the Mayans than all of man kind was wiped out in 2012.  but i have a more reasonable solution.  the Mayans made calenders ahead of time, so is it possible that the Mayans were eradicated while they were making the 2013 calenders, or the just decided that over 3000 years of calenders was enough to hold em for a while.  Also I am relay looking forward to 2012 because we get a chance to get rid of Barack Obama!

   also to celebrate the new year: I have posted this video of cool stunts people do, Enjoy!

   this reminds me that GOD has created us in a wonderful and fearful way, and even though we refuse to acknowledge him, he gives us a way out of eternal damnation by sending his ONLY SON to die on a cross for us, thank you FATHER.

NCDOT/Amtrak: Peidmont 12MP camera. flash 1/30 of a second

                                             taken by my dad at Harrisburg park on 12/23/2011

                                             5:30 PM.  no photo shop!

NUCLEAR SCAM

   i have changed my mind.  if you remember, about two months ago i made a post entitled "COOL SONGS".  also if you remember, i had a song on it entitled "THE HYMN TO RED OCTOBER" the main theme from the 1990s techno thriller "THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER".  well i have changed my mind, i like this track from the movie entitled "NUCLEAR SCAM".  if you want to find out why it's called that...  well you'll just have to read the book.  (or watch the movie)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy birthday to Drew P., who turned 13 just recently.
  congrats Drew!  your now a teen!

overkill... red-necks live off it

Hammie's Boomerang adventure

  their doing exatly what people do.  they hurt people and then they film it.

Get smart: Crossbow FAIL

seen from "Get Smart"

ladies and gentelmen: my dog

looks like me on battlefield

say this on my friends blog and had to copy it.  looks like me on battlefield.

POLL IS OVER!

   well people, the poll is over.  and a new one is up!  the results?

                                      i don't know 50%
                                               maybe 50%

the question?  dose life exist on other planets.  number of people that voted? 4.  yep i was hoping for just a little more people. but OK!  happy thanks giving!

is this guy good or what?

real John Williams sound track

same track, only piano

XPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. take matchbox car & bust out window
2. cut of the heads of as many paper matches as you can and cram them through the window
3. place on large pile of paper ad light
4. PLEASE do NOT try this at home! I am a professional Redneck

   I am sorry that i do not have this video on my blog yet due to a technical error 

redneck to english

   Redneck:                                                                                    
Hey!  Watch This!
   English:
hello my friends. i would like to commit suicide in a creative fashion. would you care to watch?
   Redneck:
all right!
   English:
I would not mind watching you end your life, if i can assist you in the process
   Redneck:
Cool!!!
   English:
Hey moron!  that looked painful and mildly amusing, do it again

Battlefield: Bad Company 2

  if got this new game coming from amazon for a VERY belated birthday.  here's the trailer (you may have to bit in your B-day because of its M rating).  anyway i hope you enjoy!



   if you have ever read the Ghost Recon novel where Ramirez states that he wishes the Ghosts could change their name to the big loud bad asses...  now you know what he meant

Time Is Running Out!!!

   time is running out to vote!  is life on other planets?  i want to hear from YOU!

Games Red-Necks Play (Also why I will play AIRSOFT not paintball)

I wonder how much they payed the poor suckers to be living clay skeets

Cool Songs